Erk, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything other than ramblings for a while.
1. Magic Chocolate. If this doesn’t convince you that magic is real, nothing will. Meet diospyros nigra, aka the black sapote, a very special kind of persimmon found in the Caribbean, Central America and Colombia. When ripe, the black sapote “assumes a flavor, color and texture often likened to chocolate pudding.” A magical fruit that tastes like chocolate pudding, contains nearly 4 times the amount of vitamin C as an orange, and 134 calories per 100 g? BRING IT.
2. Ninjas in the Ocean. Inky black skin. Bioluminescent. Cat-sized. The Etmopterus benchleyi (after “Jaws” author Peter Benchley) has claimed the title of Weirdest Shark in the Ocean. Nicknamed the ninja shark, it lives at a depth of 3,200 feet in the Pacific Coast of Central America. It’s cute in an ugly sort of way.
3. Florida Man. There must be something in Florida’s water that makes the residents crazy. A 23-year-old threw an alligator into the drive-thru window at Wendy’s as a prank. Seriously. He’s out on bail and the judge has ordered him to avoid contact or ownership with any animals (except his mom’s dog), a mental health evaluation and not possess any weapons (alligators included).
4. Word of the Week. Rapscallion
Definition: rascal, ne’er-do-well
Examples of rapscallion in a sentence:
<the city’s run-down waterfront was occupied mostly by disreputable places frequented by drunkards and rapscallions>
<that little rapscallion kept hiding my shoes and making me go look for them>
5. Vintage Ads. I know I’ve been on a bit of a feminist kick lately (maybe I’ve kept it from you?), but this too hilarious not to share:
6. Spoilsport FDA. First they came for our alfalfa sprouts and we did nothing. Then they came for our tomatoes, and still we did nothing. Even when they came for our beef, we were quiet. Cake mixes, hazelnuts, lettuce, none of it was safe! But now, we can stay silent no more: they have come for our cookie dough and cake batters. Our days of licking the bowl clean after making a delicious vanilla cake are over — not only are our eggs potential E.Coli sources, but now our raw flour is too! Oh the humanity.
7. Pumpkins Lie. Liar, liar, pants on fire, hang ‘em on a telephone wire. That canned pumpkin puree you bought to make your famous pumpkin pie? Not 100% pumpkin. IT’S SQUASH. Well, squash + pumpkin. Because “squash-puree pie” doesn’t sound as delicious as “pumpkin pie.”
8. Elephants in Arkansas. I found the BEST VACATION IDEA EVER – a weekend at an elephant sanctuary where I can help bathe the elephants, feed them and sleep in a dorm on site! Totally going next year, just need to start putting money in my elephant piggy bank…
9. Goat-aly True. A goat was arrested in the Indian state Chhattisgarh for raiding the garden of a senior bureaucrat. The unnamed goat was released on bail (along with his owner), but the duo face 2 to 7 years in prison and a fine. First voting pigs, now criminal goats. What’s next?
10. Bowling Balls. Do you want to impress your friends? Do you hate bowling shoes? Have no fear – Hammacher Schlemmer has come to the rescue. Turn any 40′ x 17′ area into a giant bowling alley, complete with a human-powered 7′ inflatable ball, six 5′ pins and bragging rights to the coolest house on the block. Just be prepared to shell over 5,500 clams (plus another 100 for shipping). Small price to pay for fame, eh?
11. Fast(er) Internet. Google Fiber is now obsolete, researchers at the University College London’s Optical Networks Group have achieved a data rate of 1.125 Tb/s. To put this in perspective, my cell phone just tested at 9.65 Mb/s, the UK’s average bandwidth is 24 Mb/s, and Google Fiber offers 1,000 Mb/s. Don’t tell Colby – he’ll be on the waiting list for years.
12. Fonts Fonts Fonts. Are you a font nerd like me? Do you love picking out font combos for posters, resumes and random memes? But are you just too damn lazy sometimes to scroll through 5,000 fonts to find the perfect combo? Browser Femmebot’s Google Type page – tons of perfect pairings of Google fonts and lovely little stories.
13. Friday Puppy Picture. Say hi to Ra!