Sometime last year, I decided that my black pub top table needed to go, so I wrote a farewell/for sale ad on Craigslist:
We’ve had a great time together, really. Cross-country moves, dinner with friends, crafts, we’ve seen it all. Alas, it was not to be. The other furniture has made it clear that they want you to go, that you don’t fit in with them, look like they do.
You’re a great table, solid base, real wood, sturdy, classic, you disassemble easily. My dear table, you do have your flaws, most notably, some craft paint I accidentally splattered on you, but it only adds charm. You are in perfect condition otherwise.
I hope we can find you a new home, someone who will love you as much as I do. When you go, remember me fondly.
The crafty chick
P.S.: If you want to stay in touch, please text or email me. You know I hate phone calls. And you can’t take the cat.
P.P.S: Your price is negotiable, sorry!