Don’t Go Bacon My Heart

standard October 9, 2014 Leave a response

What’s the best way to save money on your grocery, electric and water bills?

Send your significant other to another country!

If they are gone for 7 weeks out of 52, you can save 13%* off your total food bill for the year! The A/C can stay at 74° instead of 70°, and the washing machine only runs one a week! The entire bed is yours!

You also have to climb on the counters to reach stuff on the highest shelves, um, and… Well, that’s embarrassing, can’t think of anything else to add. Sorry, sweetie!

The only thing I’m not allowed to do while Colby is in Mexico is play with his woodworking toys, something about my natural clumsiness, sharp objects and a hospital more than a mile away? Not sure, but it’s only been an hour since I last hurt myself! That’s an improvement, no?

Between Colby enjoying street tacos 2,100 miles away, and small children infecting me with their cooties, I’ve had more than a little free time on my hands. Pinterest no longer amuses me, Demon Kitty won’t let me pester him, I’ve cleaned out my purse three times, and I rearranged the living room furniture again.**

Now what?

Until I can find new and exciting ways to entertain myself, I’m going to try to entertain you.

  • “As you read this, I will no longer be here. Rich will be trying to put one foot in front of the other, to get by, a day at a time, knowing I will no longer awake next to him. He will see me in the luxury of a dream, but in the harsh morning sun, the bed will be empty.” And So There Must Be an End, Charlotte Kitley’s final post for the Huffington Post UK.
  • A step in the right direction: Brazilian baby registered with three parents.
  • Ronald McDonald House Charities gets less than one-quarter of its revenue from McDonald’s, according to USA Today. Instead, RMHC receives much of its funding from McDonald’s customers, via donation boxes, and collecting pop tabs from soda cans.
  • What does a $23,000 plane ticket get you? A whooooole lot of pampering.
  • CollegeHumor.com has ruined The Little Mermaid for me with their rendition of Under the Sea.
  • When people tell you directions, do you immediately forget them the second you walk away? If so, you’ve gone akihi.

Entertained yet? No? Look at this, you’ll thank me later.

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*Brain makes my math hurt.
**Just kidding, Snugglepants.

Header image // cookbookman17

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