Friday 13s – February 12

standard February 12, 2016 Leave a response

What types of cookies would the Boy Scouts sell if they broke into the dessert market? Jalapeño chipotle mud pies? Bacon-flavored chocolate chip cookies? Peanut butter snake skins? Oh the possibilities…

There is a box of thanks-a-lots sitting on my desk, courtesy of my coworker Rob and his Girl Scout daughter Mollie. They are supposed to be for a girls’ nights at my friend Amy’s place tonight, but they might not make it home. 

1. There are plenty of scandals in Hollywood these days — Ariana Grande licked a donut, Ben Affleck was a little too friendly with his nanny, Ingrid Berman had an illegitimate child with a married director — but Kurt Russell wasn’t expecting his own scandal when following his script while shooting the Hateful Eight. The scene called for Russell to grab a guitar from Jennifer Jason Leigh and smash it against a beam.

An six-string 1870s Martin.

The priceless guitar was to be swapped mid-take, with Russell destroying a guitar stunt double, but unfortunately, Russell wasn’t told that key piece of info.

“As a result of the incident, the [Martin Guitar Museum] will no longer loan guitars to movies under any circumstances.”

2. Forget cow and shark attacks, we need to be wary of squirrels – they are targeting our power grids. It’s only a matter of time before they take over the world.

3. Adopted from China at 9 months, Asunta Fong Yang Basterra Porto had an idyllic life in Santiago, Spain — ballet lessons, violin practice, private schools — until she was murdered by her own parents and left abandoned on the side of a country road. There are no words that can describe this complete and utter betrayal of their responsibilities as parents.

4. In a world of tutus and demi-pliés, Stephanie Kurlow wants to break the mold and be the world’s first hijabi ballerina. She quit performing when her family converted to Islam in 2010 — some strict Muslims believe dancing is “haram”, or forbidden — but her love of ballet never waned. Now, hoping to inspire others to pursue their dreams, Stephanie is raising money to train full-time at a ballet school in Sydney, Australia. Go Stephanie!

5. Deep in the Postojna cave systems in Slovenia lurks a creature taken straight from the Twilight Zone, the “human fish.” Commonly known as the proteus or olm, the flesh-colored salamander spends its entire life underwater. It can live for more than 100 years, and survive 14 years without food. Oviparous, the proteus is a blind carnivore, feasting on small invertebrates such as worms, larvae and snails.They are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red List, due to contamination of their habitat.

6. Men get all the perks — you make more money, the world is your urinal, you can actually put stuff in your pockets — but when it comes to the flu, women get the perks! Scientists have recently found that women don’t suffer as much as men when it comes to the flu due to all the estrogen in our system. Score one for the ladies!

7. Oh, acne, the bane of our youth, you made us the butt of many a joke – pizza face, krustykrab, crater face – and we thought you would fade with age. Instead, our old friend Science has some bad news for us 30-somethings: vitamin B12 can possibly make our acne worse because Science.

8. In yet another instance of corruption in local politics, nearly all top officials in Crystal City, Texas, were arrested on charges of accepting bribes, illegal gambling and misuse of city funds. Those arrested include the mayor, city manager and councilmen – only one councilman remains. The city has nearly $2 million in unpaid bills and was facing bankruptcy, while the city manager earned more than $200,000 per year.

9. I’m in the wrong business.

trash-can

10. I am awesome. Just wanted to get that out there.

11.

12. In local news, police in Fayetteville, N.C., are looking for Craigslist scammers who advertise electronics for good prices, then meet up with buyers in parking lots and give them sealed boxes filled with rocks. That’s not very nice, but caveat emptor.

Side note: Why do news articles show photos of computer screens, instead of using screenshots?

Craiglist

13. Do you get the feels when discovering new words? Do you like playing with your doge IRL while looking fleek? TBH, I am totes confused with all these newfangled words invading Dictionary.com.

Stay warm, peeps!

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